Vote for Hillary, She Can “Fix” Anything!

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Because she has a vagina, Hillary claims she can fix anything. She can make employers respect women more and pay them equal to the men on staff and give them paid maternity leave in addition to vacation and sick time, longer workday break times, allow them to leave work early in order to attend school or family functions or partake of anything womanly.

She can fix the economy by assuring that unskilled and uneducated and otherwise disadvantaged workers are paid a “living wage”. Giving more taxpayer money to unemployed and unemployable people also cycles more money through the economy. Making sure they have access to a decent place to live, cable television, cell phones and internet service at home gives them more leisure time to seek jobs. (Of course, that might mean giving up some of the government provided bucks and goodies.)

She can fix education by giving failing public schools more money for the administrators to squander. Higher education is easily attained with low-interest loans for tuition and no penalty for default. Lowering standards so that anybody can attend and pass classes also helps satisfy the need for a certificate in social justice.

She can fix world problems by accepting donations to the Clinton Foundation and exorbitant speaking fees for her husband. She can fix the broken classified email system by simply installing a server of her own and keeping or deleting emails as she chooses.

She can fix book reviews by having Amazon reorganize the way they accept and classify those critical of her books. She can fix disparate physical characteristics by mandating that a platform be used behind her debate podium to make her look taller and more presidential. She can fix the disadvantage she may have with her jaded political and executive experience by having debate moderators instantly fact check her opponent as Candy Crowley did on behalf of Barack Obama in 2012. (Crowley’s “facts” were wrong, but her interjection did help her candidate win the debate.)

She can make sure every election is fair by not requiring people to identify themselves as living, breathing citizens and local precinct dwellers at the polls. To do so would be inordinately discriminatory.

Yep, Hillary apparently can fix anything…well except for her chronic, habitual lying about everything.

 

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