When Couples Don’t Align Politically

By Jeff Davidson,

My best friend’s sister got married at 47. She married a guy named Ray and their 25 years have been wonderful. Ray is a Liberal, whereas Elizabeth is a Conservative. When I first heard that she was marrying a Liberal, I shuddered. I figured that there was no way they could last.

Elizabeth is highly intelligent, went to an Ivy League college, keeps up with current events, and has firm Conservative convictions. Ray is not on the far Left; he leans Left, votes Democrat, and is not what you would call highly political. Bolstered by Ray and Elizabeth’s ability to maintain a wonderful marriage, I thought, okay, here I am, a divorced man, in his 60s. I’d like to meet a Conservative woman, but I if meet a Liberal woman, perhaps, we can find common ground.” So, I wasn’t seeking a Liberal woman, but that is who I met.

She Had it All
Dorothy was alluring to me in all ways, and she had it all, except for the politics. She was bright, energetic, physically fit, active around town, a friend to all, and humorous. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I detected on our first encounter that she was a Liberal.

I hesitated whether or not to tell her I was more inclined to agree with the Right. I figured if things get rolling, we can bare our souls, find common ground, and perhaps like Elizabeth and Ray, continue on.

Continue on we did. Seeing Dorothy 200+ times, day after day, week after week, we did it all. Traveled, dined, sprinted, played sports, watched movies, threw darts, entertained cats, and more. “Here is a potential lifelong partner,” I thought, and it appeared that she felt the same way. I can not deny it to myself: I flat-out loved her. Occasionally, we had some political squabbles. I regarded them as simply one element of our relationship, and, not even a pressing one – some couples have money, fidelity, or offspring issues. We had none of that.

I also was willing to meet Dorothy more than halfway on many issues of the day. For example, I agreed that lawbreakers on January 6, 2021 ought to be tried in court. I did not believe that people who are induced by the various FBI operatives (now documented to have been interspersed among the crowds) to visit the Capitol, and encouraged to swarm the building, should be treated like international terrorists.

For Dorothy, indoctrinated for decades by uber-leftist publications such as The New York Times, J6 was a grave day in American history. In her view, these people tried to overthrow the government of the United States! Unarmed and with plane tickets for that evening, of course, they had no intention of overthrow.

Had Trump won the 2020 election, 200+ cities would have gone up in flames. She didn’t believe that. I said, “Of course you don’t, it was squelched by the Leftist media which dominates public discourse.” Nevertheless, George Soros and company had already marshaled potential rioters across America given that the November election swerved from the way that they rigged it.

I was in agreement with Dorothy on several other issues, such as crime, abortion within the first trimester, and so on. Alas, she could not get past J6. She had been influenced to believe that this was an insurrection – as opposed to a false flag planted by the FBI, to portray Trump supporters as insurrectionists – and no amount of reasoning would work. Apparently the love she had professed to me on many occasions was quite conditional.

Ray Epps? Unfairly accused. Ashley Babbit? Dangerous trespasser. Others? Dangers to the Republic!

I was away for a couple weeks in Europe. Then, Dorothy wanted me to incubate for 14 days before we could be together. A day before our mini-reunion, she had visited a friend who had health concerns. Then, it struck her: Life is short, and each of us ought to be free to find someone with whom we align politically.

Like that, she unilaterally called it quits. She left a long, handwritten note in my front door, effusive in her praise of me as a boyfriend and as a supporter of her efforts. I was grateful for that. However, the net result was that with no discussion, not even a brief conversation, no warning, no nothing, our union instantly dissolved.

Whatever secret formula Ray and Elizabeth employ is not known to Dorothy or me. Our 200+ encounters and countless moments of connection took a distant seat to Dorothy’s notion that we must be free to meet new partners. Today, we’ve been apart for the same number of days that we were together.

Do I believe that a Conservative man and Liberal woman can make it in this world? The jury is still out, and I am doubtful. Do I believe that a Conservative woman and a Liberal man can make it in this world? I only have Elizabeth and Ray as evidence, and also have my doubts.

If you are unattached later in life and seeking a partner, find somebody with whom you agree politically. That is the safest bet.
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Jeff Davidson is “The Work-Life Balance Expert®” and the premier thought leader on work-life balance, integration, and harmony. Jeff speaks to organizations that seek to enhance their overall productivity by improving the effectiveness of their people. He is the author of Breathing Space, Simpler Living, Dial it Down, and Everyday Project Management.