I Broke Into Garland’s Office-Discovered Future Attempts To Jail Trump

Whether you like former President Donald Trump or hate him, one must admit the deluge of indictments seems to be a political ploy. Not just because he is running for POTUS — and based on his giant lead and looks as if he will get the GOP nomination — but because they still have the same Trump hate they had from the minute he announced his intention to run for President in 2015.

It started with his supposed collusion with Russia and ended with the historic second impeachment after he left office. That impeachment was based on the January 6th, 2001 riot, in which the Democrats did what they do best, change the English language to meet their need. So just as they changed illegal immigrants to migrants and terrorists to militants, they changed the January 6th riot into an insurrection, an attempt to take over the government.

Incredibly he was condemned for an insurrection by a January 6th committee loaded with Trump haters, his second impeachment, and now he is being prosecuted for it. Gee whiz, the liberals are so consumed by hatred thought he would try to take over the US without an Army, just a few inept attorneys (one who promised a monster squid called a Kraken) few former members of his administration; think about it, he didn’t have an Army they wouldn’t think about participating. Trump indeed went to every state that had a close vote, begging them to look again and see if they could recount to see if they could find enough votes to change the vote. He was a pain in the butt, but not someone trying to take over the country.

They only had a few senior citizens, the threat of a fictional sea monster, and a whining former president. Honestly, the people calling it an insurrection were just as embarrassing as the man I voted for twice, refusing to recognize that he lost.

In June 2020, a team of protesters in Seattle grabbed a part of the City and declared it was their own. They called it CHAZ CHOP was a self-declared autonomous zone. They had an army of protesters taking over part of the City. That should have been called an insurrection, not a riot. Either way, America’s AG Merrick Garland did nothing. The same thing. Happened in Portland, Oregon, a land grab called a riot that was an insurrection, and Merrick Garland did nothing.

There are many more examples during the summer of 2020 and early 2021. Even worse, the Kraken. I have friends who own Italian Restaurants who were very disappointed because they thought they would have free calamari for at least a year.

During the past few weeks, former President Trump was indicted four times. One dumber than the next. As his usual practice, Merrick Garland did nothing, at least publicly. Two of them are indeed local indictments, ones he has no power over. However, if the federal AG made a speech or pushed the issue, the local governments would drop their imbecilic charges. As for the federal ones, it would be easy to make the defense win because the direction for the charges came from Garland’s boss, who is also an idiot.

As I suggested earlier, whether you like former President Donald Trump or hate him, one has to admit the deluge of indictments seems to be a political ploy.

I was so tired of these indictments I had to find out what Silent Merrick and Dementia Joe had in store for us next. There was no way I could sneak into Bidens’ office. It is very well protected, and sometimes the President goes to sleep dreaming of 2 million miles on Amtrak and smelling little girls’ hair.

So I ignored Beijing Bidin’s dreams and decided to break into Garland’s office.

The waiting room outside Garland’s office was spooky, like a haunted house. That room was decorated with strange posters, like:

Trump And McConnell Kept Me Out Of The Supreme Court.
I coulda had class. I coulda been Justice. I could’ve been somebody instead of a bum, which is what I am.” Oh great, a DC version of “On the Waterfront.”
Or A Simple: I Hate Trump.
A Fourth Poster Said At The Top, “From The Pages Of Karl Marx,” And Below That In Bold read, “The Education Of All Children, From The Moment That They Can Get Along Without A Mother’s Care, Shall Be In State Institutions.” I guess that is why he sent a letter calling parents who thought they had a say in their kid’s education—terrorists.

The posters were enough. I needed to get beyond the waiting room door and Into Garland’s office.

Upon entering, I noticed that besides a file and a nameplate, his desktop was totally neat, which was a sign of a sick mind.

The desktop nameplate said, ‘They Call Me JUSTICE Garland.” Combined with the posters, it indicated that the man had too many streaming movie channels.

The outside of the file read, “Other Charges In Case Bad Orange Man Gets Off;” Holy Sh-t, I had to read that folder, so I opened it and started reading the list of possible charges:

Ageism: As a toddler, Trump took a dump in a diaper that drove every adult, including his parents, out of the room.

Destruction of Public Property: the only grade Trump went to a public school was kindergarten. One day he was angry and broke a crayon.

Breaking The Military Rules of Conduct: While attending the New York Military Academy, Trump showed up for the morning roll call without shining his buttons or shoes,

Child Abuse: Who names their kid Baron. What other abuses does he put Baron through?

Falsifying Income Reports; Trump said he was worth $4 billion. That wasn’t true. It was an exaggeration. Per that folder, he was only worth $3.905 billion.

Kraken: This one will even appeal to former President Trump’s fans. When Trump and his lawyers claimed to get the Kraken, they weren’t being truthful. I am still upset there was no extra-extra-extra yuge squid.

When reading the above charges, you may think they are too ridiculous. They can’t be true! My only response is to read the Georgia charging document. If the DAs want to send Trump to jail, find reasonable charges, not as silly as the ones I put up.