Letters were left by Mother Teresa that indicated she doubted the existence of God. This revelation by one considered devout should be a wake-up call to all who have entertained the idea that faith alone is not convincing. Reading her tormented statements tells us that she did not live a happy life. The question that tormented her went unanswered and relying on the authority of the church she accepted what was provided as comfort. The fact that it was not comforting to her shows the lack of compassion inherent in the dogmatic doctrine perpetrated by centuries of “scholars” that would not question what was being asked by even the most devoted followers.
If one accepts a false premise and tries to rationalize it and integrate that rationalization into a life style, the consequences are not only predictable but inevitable. False premises lead to only false conclusions. A practice of faith cannot alleviate this. Only a recognition of truth and a rejection of the false premise will alleviate the wondering and anguish that the unanswered provides. Even Mother Teresa was not satisfied with a promise that God could be experienced when she honestly said she did not experience such. There are those who profess they experience God but one must ask if the most saintly cannot, how can the less worthy unless they are charlatans professing dishonest experiences that only portray what they want others to believe? Just as the politician sways to the mob so too the mystic caters to the beliefs that are encouraged and admired.
The emptiness that Mother Teresa felt and the needless suffering she experienced cannot be exonerated by a post humus award. The misery felt in life does not become better or worse after death as death eliminates all feeling. The hollowness she experienced in life was only a premonition that her reward in death would not only be hollow but non-existent. And those who do not understand her suffering point to the compassion she offered while they have none to offer for the dogma they prattled . They too would feel hollow if they would admit the doubt that Mother Teresa had the courage to expose.
It is not enough to express doubt after death. It is life that requires the courage to speak your mind and say what you honestly feel. Words after death ring hollow and are often excused as irrelevant to the popular opinion of the person. Thus we hear the diatribe of “keep the faith” while the response of the most devout cry out that the method is a sham and corners the mind of the inquisitive with a guilt that is undeserved and painful. If the very best of the followers of this hate doctrine must endure a life of suffering what then is left but a fictitious afterlife where nothing is as it is and the impossible reigns. The fact that there are so few that question and rely on the word of others to console their strangled minds makes it very easy to understand why stupid wars over dogma are repeated and continued.
No one expected a person who lived among the lepers and dwelled in the “black hole” of Calcutta to find material happiness but it was the spiritual misery that bothered her. Here she was doing what she was told would be the way to an inner peace and instead she suffered within herself wondering if what she thought she was serving was only an invention of a raving ancient hermit clamoring for an audience. The voice she sought could not reassure her for there was no voice. One might ask that if such a servant could not see a sign of reassurance then by what stretch of the imagination could the common man have hope of such an experience and does it not cast doubt on those who have claimed such experience and gone on to be convicted of crimes and immoralities?
It is one thing to ponder endlessly what a god expects as many religions have theologians that pursue this avenue. It is quite another to, as the honest philosopher does, ask whether such a pursuit is analogous to asking how many teeth the tooth fairy “buys” per annum. Mother Teresa choked off her honest questions until after her death and now she will never know the answer. She succumbed to the vile duty of closing off what was a burning thought in her mind. This is what happens to those who follow a creed of sacrifice. For there can be no greater sacrifice than your mind. Give up your mind for the sake of acceptance,, quell your questions and blindly count on those who claim to understand what they cannot explain. In this regard there are many Mother Teresa’s living lives of silent desperation wondering why they do not understand and thinking there are many who do.
More than the physical misery she experienced and the suffering she alleviated Mother Teresa must be commended for exposing what all honest humans experience when dutifully sacrificing their inquiry for the dogma thrust upon them. Her doubt cannot be dismissed as being sustained by faith. Unquestioning belief is faith and Mother Teresa had many questions. This was the humanity that she should be honored for, not the handouts and charity. Any foundation could help the needy but how many could challenge the doctrine they accepted and eventually honestly question it? Very few.
Of course Mother Teresa could have openly stated her doubt but like so many she was willing to live under the canopy of dogma that daily challenged her to sacrifice more and more. For not questioning she received the suffering that could have been quelled. Perhaps it was solace to know she was practicing what she truly thought would bring her the peace of mind she sought. She was fooling herself and she knew it and this is why she expressed her honest doubts. The price she paid was the life she sacrificed. It was not happiness she gained. A stature of saint awarded by the living is hardly rewarding to the dead. It is fodder for future flocks to live a life of pretense.Tags: Faith reason