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even as my thoughts

float

like

uneaten fish food flakes

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in a dirty goldfish bowl

I swim bloatedly,

serving rolls

to mothers who spread them with butter,

and hand them

absentmindedly

to toddlers in high chairs.

They ask me when I am due.

I go about smiling

weakly

and wonder…

did this mother

wonder

about dying too?

Was she overwhelmed

with protesters

offering unbearable choices,

demanding she consider

unthinkable options–

assuring her that no one

would come out of this alive

as poor as she was

as young as she was

something was going to have to die.

“You have your whole life ahead of you..”

As though she had no right to let a baby be part of it.

As though someone had to die.

Her.

Her baby.

As though they were separate things

as though her pregancy wasn’t part of her…

as though killing

the part of her

that made her

a jelly Bellie swellie mama

was as easy as ordering a piece of pie

Onan Coca

Onan is the Editor-in-Chief at Romulus Marketing. He's also the managing editor at Eaglerising.com, Constitution.com and the managing partner at iPatriot.com. Onan is a graduate of Liberty University (2003) and earned his M.Ed. at Western Governors University in 2012. Onan lives in Atlanta with his wife and their three wonderful children.

 

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