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Once upon a time there was a country that decided by a democratic process to model its behavior after Santa Claus.  Every day there were presents provide for the “children” for in this country everyone wanted to be a child.  Of course there were some who wanted to be Santa Claus and there were those who wanted to be elves. And since this was a democracy every four years they would nominate and elect a Santa Claus and he would distribute the toys and gifts for the next four years.

One year a very stingy Santa Claus got elected and he wanted more people to volunteer to be elves so there would be more gifts made for the “children”.  Many of the “children” didn’t really want to work in Santa’s workshop because the hours were long and of course there was no pay.  But Santa told the reluctant children that they were being very selfish for not wanting to work and build toys and gifts for the” children” and he said if they were not going to voluntarily work in the workshop he would have to make a law that if they didn’t want to work then they would have to anyway.  This frightened the “children” and they announced that they would form a union and that union would shout to the rooftops that they didn’t believe in Santa Claus anymore.  Santa told them that they would find their stockings empty every morning and they would be put on his list of bad little boys and girls.  The rebellious “children” said they would impeach Santa because he was not a Santa in the real spirit of Christmas and he didn’t deserve the job.  but Santa told them that they lived in a democracy and the majority of the “children” had voted for him and therefore he was the real Santa at least for the rest of his term.  Being “children” they said that didn’t matter because they wanted a better Santa and they were not going to settle for anything less.

So the rebel “children” went door to door and asked all of the other children to jump up and down in the streets until Santa stepped down and they could get a new Santa.  But many of the “children” were getting their toys and they were not interested in getting a new Santa, so many times they just slammed the door in the rebel ‘children’s” faces.  Now this made the rebel “children” very mad and they decided that if they couldn’t get their way in a democracy that they would start a new form of government called an undemocracy.  This undemocracy would not work where every “child” got to vote for Santa.  Santa would be chosen from the rebel “children” ranks and he would stay Santa as long as he wanted to.  Then one rebel child asked,” What if the new Santa is a bad Santa?”  The other rebel “children” said that was a stupid question and they didn’t want to hear any more divisive comments.  They then went to the Red House where Santa lived and told him that they were not going to live in a democracy any more and they would throw him out on his fat belly and put a new Santa that they liked in his place.

Now Santa was not a stupid politician.  He told the rebel”children” they were certainly free to choose any form of government they wanted in the democracy but they had to  vote on it.  The rebel ”children” said,” Look what voting got us the last time.”  So Santa said, “ Okay, but what if another group of rebel “children” don’t like your Santa?”  The rebel “children’s” spokesman said that was a divisive question and they didn’t want to hear it. So Santa said, “ Do you mean you do not want people to be divisive and not question you”?  The rebel spokesman stomped his foot and got real mad.  He screamed,” I want a new Santa and I want him now”.  So Santa being the kind , but stingy, Santa he was, gave the reins of the sleigh to the spokesman and said he didn’t want Santa Country to be a country of unhappy “children” and he was going back to being a child.  The spokesman then said we have to appoint a new Santa and the other rebel “children” said how will we do that?  “Well we’re not going to vote on one so I’m going to appoint myself”.

The elves said they didn’t like him and they wouldn’t work to make the toys and gifts so he would have to be Santa without any toys and gifts to give out.  The new Santa stomped his feet and screamed they had to work or else.  The elves said ,”or else” sounded pretty good to them and they sat on their break benches and waited for  the New Santa to give them gifts and toys.  Soon they realized there would be no toys and gifts and they started to cry.  All over the country you could hear crying for there were no toys and gifts and of course no elves that were willing to make them and even the new Santa’s reindeer refused to pull the sleigh.  Soon everyone was hungry and miserable even the new Santa.  Realizing he didn’t have the kind of a job he wanted he said he no longer wanted to be Santa and he wanted to be a child again, so he resigned.  Now all the country was just filled with children crying and hungry and without new toys.  They sat around all day and cried for a new Santa to bring them the toys and gifts they used to get.  But no one heard their cries and soon one smart child decided that if there were to be any gifts or toys he would have to build them himself.  So he began to build toys and gifts and when the other children saw that he had toys and gifts they said they wanted some too but they wanted to be like it used to be and Santa would deliver the toys to them.  So they elected a new Santa and told him to take the toys the worker was making and give them to all of the children.  But the worker said he couldn’t make enough for all the children and besides if he gave them to the other children he wouldn’t have any for himself.  The children called him selfish and went back to their crying and the new Santa tried to recruit some elves but everyone now wanted just to be a child so he couldn’t recruit anyone to build toys and gifts.

The country named Santa Claus finally was overrun by a country called stingyville and the stingyvillans made the children work without pay and fed them water and stale bread.  And as the children grew old and tired they used to talk about how they used to have lots of toys and gifts and didn’t have to do anything but play. They called this the “good old days” and pined nightly for the return of a Santa.  But no Santa ever came because without elves to make toys and gifts there could be nothing for a Santa to give to the children so no one ever applied for the job.  And that’s how Santa became forgotten by the children.

iPatriot Contributers


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