New West Bank Strategy Afoot!

Al Gharb Exit Learned from Brexit

A confidential informant reveals to Vigileaks there is a new movement afoot in Israel’s West Bank settlements. It remains behind the scenes for now, but is rapidly gaining assent and momentum among the Arabs still residing there.

“We want to be free again,” confided Aabid. “We are tired of the long security checks every day. We know there is more to life than this!”

“We call it Al gharb Exit,” added his friend, recently returned from London.

“What do you mean? What is it?” inquired Vigileaks.

“We were not born to serve Israel. Al gharb Exit is the solution. We are resurrecting our full Nomadic Heritage and are returning to the desert. To the fertile oases of freedom! To worship Allah in peace…”

“But with full electronics and wireless devices,” interrupted his friend, texting on his cell phone. “We love the desert stars at night. We can hardly ponder them in these West Bank shelters.”

“Is there a timing to this?” proffered Vigileaks, seeing the informant’s new BMW was recently covered in dust.

“Yes. Absolutely. We know we can get maximum dinars and shekels for our homes and apartments now. We see the incremental with Netanyahu. It is inevitable we will have to move. As soon as we hear from our liason to obtain maximum dinars, from the Israeli government, we will immediately start our new lives.”

“Exactly. We are tired of volunteering into oppression.”

“Aren’t you afraid of ISIS? Won’t Hamas force you to stay?”

“Why should we be afraid? There are more of us than them. Already even in London, we have several friends ready to join us. We want to be who we are! Word is getting around that we are a – what do you call it – a proxy group for the globalists.”

“We want a stable and rich culture again. We know how to make it happen. We will be asking the protection of President Trump in our new endeavor. Only he can prevent those at the top from forcing us to stay.”

“What if this doesn’t come about?” asked Vigileaks, skeptically.

“The populists in America and the UK want their sense of nationalism! And so do we! It is a very, very contagious worldwide pandemic. We want to have our own again – with the fullest respect for each Islamic nation and their rich nationalisms.”

“Sounds like you’re progressive Muslims,” suggested Vigileaks. “Sounds more secular than Islamic.”

“We see it as more survival than secular. It is in our ancient DNA! We want to be free again. We want to blossom in the desert and live in peace. We can make it happen…”

“Both Israeli and Arab leaders would keep us as political pawns. We were not born for this. Life is short. Thanks to us, Muslim populism and Al gharb Exit – are quickly growing and catching fire as the only answer…”